Letting Teens Get a Job is Not a Good Way to Keep Them Busy

When children become a certain age, some Christian parents think it would be a great idea to allow them to get a job to "keep them busy" and earn some money.  Not only is this popular for boys, but also has become popular for teenage girls.  Why parents want to send their teen daughters out into the world to earn money is beyond me.  It is not in a young woman's nature to hold a job, and certainly doesn't prepare her to be a wife and homemaker.

My parents did this with me, and I had several jobs before I was saved.  One summer before I was even old enough to hold a paying job, they sent me to a camp to be a camp "counselor in training" to "keep me busy", and they even paid me to do it since it wasn't a paying position.  All of these places of employment did me no good and actually caused much harm.

Before parents consider allowing or even encouraging their teens to get a job outside the home, there is much to think about Biblically, especially with concern for their souls and how a place of employment might affect their future.  Jobs outside the home hold a lot of danger and temptation for young people who still are not mature.  It is very similar to sending them off to public school.



Consider the following:

At a job, teens are exposed to and cannot get away from

• Their boss.  They are at the demand of their manager to be available to do what he/she wants at whatever time he/she wants (though with some restrictions due to their age).  This boss most likely won't care about things like your teen keeping the Lord's Day or having convictions about not doing certain things.
• Their co-workers.  Co-workers can be the worst "companions" which your teen will naturally have to be around and cannot get away from in the workplace.  If you send your teen off to a job, do not be surprised if they are exposed to filthy language and jokes, drug use, alcohol use, people fornicating, along with the more subtle views of their coworkers that are prevalent in our society, such as feminism, environmentalism, evolution, etc.  Teens are still very much in their formative and immature years and will find it hard to be the only one standing against such evils in our society.
• Wicked music.  Often in places of business, raunchy, inappropriate music is played, and your teen will have to listen to this all day and cannot get away from it.  Co-workers may also play their own music which your teen may be exposed to.
• Customers.  Depending on the type of job your teen has, there may often be customers that your teen has to interact with that expose them to things you wouldn't want.
• Sexual advances.  It is a sad fact that if you send your daughter off to a job, you can expect that someone will at some point act inappropriately toward her.  And in our backwards society, even young girls feel emboldened to make sexual advances towards young men, so you can expect this if you have sons as well.  If you want to keep your children pure until their marriage, sending them off to a place of employment is not a very good way to do it.
• Technology.  Co-workers these days most likely have smartphones where they freely show other people porn or other wicked photos and videos.  Are you ready for your teen to be exposed to this?  Also, would your teen have other access to computers or other technology where they could search for or even accidentally stumble upon some of the wickedness that is on the internet?  The temptation for teens is very real in this area, and once seen, these things cannot be unseen.
• Immodesty.  Many places of employment will expose your teen to high levels of immodesty that they wouldn't have to deal with at home.  This is especially problematic for teen boys who are trying to keep themselves pure in thought and deed.
• Your teen most likely will be asked by coworkers to "hang out" at other times other than the workplace. Don't be surprised if your teen forms an attachment to the people they are around at work, wanting to be around them instead of their family.

There are many dangers of sending your teen out to work in our modern world, and loving, Christian parents would do best to seriously consider these.  Even homeschooling parents who have foreseen the dangers of public school, sometimes send their children out to jobs where they will be exposed to many of the great evils they were seeking to avoid at school.

Even if you send your teen to work at a place that you are familiar with, or even to a place of employment where the owners are professing Christians, you will run into many of the same issues.

What is the solution then?

For young women, I see no reason for her to ever need "job experience", as the Bible has made it clear for what young women are to be concerned with.  

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. ~Titus 2:3-5

There is no reason for a daughter from a Christian home to get a job outside of the home.  Let her learn beside her mother, the many and varied skills of home-keeping while she has the time on her hands!  It makes no sense for her to wait until she is married to learn these needed skills.  There are always more things to learn, and before she is married, she has the ability to become very good at these things. Older daughters at home can be a tremendous blessing to their mothers.  Daughters at home should be learning contentment within the home sphere and to not be led by selfish desires.

For young men, it is a bit more difficult.  Obviously, young men need to at some point learn to be providers.  At what time this occurs and in what way will greatly depend on the individual young man, his walk with Christ, and his maturity.  But do not be fooled into thinking that your teen boy is beyond being tempted or lured away from his faith by the above mentioned dangers.  Even if he is not led away into a snare, if he's working at a place of employment, he will be exposed to things that will most likely leave an impression on his young heart for the rest of his life.  That's why we must be ever so careful and wise in our decisions.  It would be best if his Christian father had his own business that his son could get involved in.  That way his father can still be with his young man and guide him as he steps out into the working world.  Other options are if your teen son can have his own "business" doing yard work or other such things for neighbors where he is still close to home and has a sense of accountability.  If he has a brother or even his own father to come alongside him, even better, as they can provide each other accountability.



Other ways to keep teens busy are to have a family life that is busy with regular family dinners and family worship.  These are important duties that should be happening every day, and many teens start to miss out on them if they are at jobs in the evenings.  Families can also minister together to other people in many ways, as well as share the Gospel.  Don't forget family walks, outings, and other enjoyable leisure activities.  Doing things together as a family is so beneficial for all family members, and prepares our young teens to one day have their own families and spend time with them instead of leading their separate lives.

Even though this may seem "different", don't cave into the pressure of those around you to do what everyone else is doing or what seems right in their own eyes.  What is most important is our children's souls, and so we must always have their spiritual wellbeing in mind.


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Adultery Begins in the Heart

Christian men and women all need to take heed to our Lord's words in the Sermon on the Mount, where the Lord informs us that for a man to even look on a woman with lust in his heart is adultery.  It is interesting to note that the Lord addressed this to men, who more knowingly, are prone to this sin of lusting.  Christian men must give no place whatsoever to this wickedness in their lives, especially with our culture that is rampantly given over to such wickedness as pornography.  We also see immodesty everywhere, but this is no reason or excuse for Christian men to give in to looking and lusting, for, as we will see below by a thorough commentary from A.W. Pink, that this is truly adultery.  And if looking with lust is adultery, how much more so is it when men seek out wicked videos and pictures of women in ways that they should only seek their wives.

I have even heard some very deceived women state that it is only in man's nature to look and be attracted to other women.  Yes, it is in their sin nature, and that sin needs to be mortified (put to death).  If a husband is in this sin, he has broken his marriage covenant and is an adulterer.  If a husband truly loves his wife, he will have no desire to be with, or even look at in this way, other women.  A Christian husband must take whatever steps necessary to avoid temptation whenever possible, and flee temptation whenever it presents itself.  He will make a covenant with his eyes, as we see in Job 31:1, and will keep himself, body and mind, for his wife.  A Godly wife is a gift from the Lord, and a husband should not take her for granted.

But also, we know that this warning from our Lord applies to women as well.  There are several times in my Christian life that I have been shocked to hear "Christian" women swoon and gush over some actor or other celebrity they find attractive.  Ladies, is this not adultery of the heart?  Yes, indeed it is!  How can we ever allow ourselves to be attracted to and gush over another man and excuse ourselves for it?  We women must also keep our hearts pure in this manner, and have eyes only for our husbands.  If we are not yet married, God's Word tells us we are to be busy about the things of the Lord--so our eyes should be upon him.

Let us look below at the wisdom Mr. Pink has to show us on this passage.

  'When the Lord Jesus affirmed, "But I say unto you, That whoso looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart," had not the Pharisees as much occasion to demur and say, "The seventh commandment says nothing about lustful looks:  You are reading into it what is not there"?

  Ere passing on, a few words need to be said on the special heinousness of this particular crime. Adultery is the breach of wedlock.  Even the Pharisees did condemn it, for though they made light of disobedience to parents (Matt. xv, 4-6), yet they clamoured for the death of the woman guilty of this sin (John viii, 4, 5).  The grievousness of this offence appears in that it breaks the solemn covenant entered into between husband and wife and God, it robs another of the precious ornament of chastity, it defiles the body and ruins the soul, it brings down the vengeance of God upon the posterity which Job called "a fire that consumeth to destruction" (xxxi, 12).  Be not deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolators, nor adulterers...shall inherit the kingdom of God" (I Cor vi, 9, 10). "Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Heb. xiii, 4).

  "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (verse 28).  Here we have an exposition of the seventh commandment by the supreme Prophet of God, wherein He reveals the height, depth, and breadth of the spirituality of the Divine Law. That commandment not only forbids all acts of uncleanness, but also the desire of them.  The Pharisees made it extend no farther than to the outward and physical act, supposing that if the iniquity was restricted to the mind, God would be indifferent. Yet their own Scriptures declared, "If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me" (Psalm lxvi, 18), and Christ here made it known that if a man allows himself to gaze upon a woman till his appetites are excited and sexual thoughts are engendered, then the holy Law of God judges him to be guilty of adultery and subject to its curse; and if he indulges his licentious imagination so as to devise means for the gratification thereof, then is his guilt that much greater, even though providence thwart the execution of his plans.

  Our Lord here declared that the seventh commandment is broken even by a secret though unexpressed desire.  There is, then such a thing as heart adultery---alas, that this is so rarely made conscience of today.  Impure thoughts and wanton imaginations which never issue in the culminating act are breaches of the Divine Law.  All lusting after the forbidden object is condemned.  Where the lascivious desire is rolled under the tongue as a sweet morsel, it is the commission of the act so far as the heart is concerned, for there is then lacking nothing but a convenient opportunity for the crime itself.  He who weighs the spirits judges the going out of the heart after that which is evil as sin, so they who cherish irregular desire are transgressors of the law of impurity.

  "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."  It is not an involuntary glance which constitutes the sin, but when evil thoughts are thereby prompted by our depraved natures.  The first step and degree, then, of this crime is when lust stirs within us.  The second stage and degree is when we deliberately approach unto--a feeding of the eye with the sight of the forbidden fruit, where further satisfaction cannot be obtained.  Then if this lust be not sternly mortified, the heart swiftly becomes enthralled and the soul is brought into complete bondage to Satan, so that it is fettered by chains which no human power can break.  Such was the deplorable condition of those mentioned by the apostle, "Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin" (II Peter ii, 14).

  Well did Matthew Henry point out, "The eye is both the inlet and the outlet of a great deal of wickedness of this kind; witness Joseph's mistress (Gen. xxxix, 7), Samson (Judges xvi, 1), David (II Samuel, xi, 2). What need have we, therefore, with holy Job, to make a covenant with our eyes' (xxxi, 1) to make this bargain with them:  That they should have the pleasure of beholding the light of the sun and the works of God, provided that they would never fasten or dwell upon anything that might occasion impure imaginations or desires; and under this penalty, that if they did, they must smart for it in penitential tears.  What have we the covering of our eyes for, but to restrain corrupt glances and to keep out defiling impressions?" How much sorrow and humiliation would be avoided if such wholesome counsel was duly laid to heart and carried in practice.'

~A.W. Pink from Sermon on the Mount

A husband and wife should always be lovingly devoted to each other, through thick and thin.

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How Young Women are Protected

"If a woman does not have a husband to be her provider and protector, her father as the natural authority from her birth or her brother - as seen above [see Lev. 21:2-3] - ought to care for her.  A wedding ceremony is the time when a girl moves from being under the care of her father to being under her groom's care.

This is how God designed men and women to function in a family. Girls should not be trained to 'be independent on their own,' but to learn how to follow, to be the helper and encourager and comforter to the man God places in her life."

~Patricia Regar


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