Sunday, October 23, 2011

Absent Mothers

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Absent mothers are not just those who go out to a job and leave their children in the care of others...And let me say, this is not to run-down those mothers who have been left unwillingly in a state of singleness against their desires...

There are mothers who remain at home in body, but they are not there mentally or emotionally.  There are many ways to leave the home without leaving it.  Some mothers turn to the TV.  Well, the TV is on, so the children are left to themselves while Mommy watches her soap opera or talk show.  Some mothers even look forward to their favorite shows so much that they make extra efforts to be sure the children are in bed or napping so their favorite show is not interrupted.  Some mothers send their children into other rooms and ignore when discipline is needed because they don't want to miss what is going on, on the TV.  Of course, there are also mothers who use TV as a babysitter for their children while they do whatever they want "without interruption".


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With some mothers, it is the phone!  Oh, Suzy calls and everyone has to hush, hush and leave Mommy alone!  Catching up on the latest gossip can surely not be interrupted.  The phone conversations can go on and on for hours.  Meanwhile, the children tear down the house because Mother is too busy talking about the latest home school book or how her husband is just the most lazy spiritual leader and she just cannot believe it!

With some, it is Facebook, Ohhhhhhh, Facebook!  Yes, they have to log in and see what everyone has posted, and well, maybe make a comment here and there, maybe send some gifts to those cyber friends, and well, those games are sure nice for a break!  Well, the break lasts 45 minutes, an hour, or two, oh dear....

Then other mothers have email, email, and more email!  There are newsletters, and blogs, yes!  Even blogs!  They must be read!  Oh, you might miss something if you don't sign up for all those newsletters.  Never mind that there is never enough time to read them all, but....!  And the internet is SO full of good, helpful information...If you just spend a little more time reading those articles, maybe, just maybe, you'll get how to be a good mother and housekeeper!

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Meanwhile, Little Johnny, Sam, and Madeline, are all waiting for Mommy to come back to reality...come back home!

Part of Proverbs warns against the woman whose "feet abide not in her house"  (Proverbs 7:11).  If I have just described you in the above paragraphs, do not despair!  I have been there too.  But, we have choices to make...Are we going to make choices to be home with our family, being busy serving them and keeping the home?  Or will we sinfully wander about from house to house (1 Timothy 5:13)?

This is not to say that the above things are bad.  But they are bad when we have other things we should be doing.  They are bad when we enjoy indulging gossip about others.  They are bad when our husbands have asked us to do something and we haven't done it because we're too busy chasing after other friends and more information that we were not asked to take on.  They are bad when our houses are filthy and our husbands and children have no food cooked for their next meal.

If your feet abide not in your house, consider taking a technology break.  I know there is a turn off TV week, and this applies to the computers, too!  Take a time out and enjoy life without these time-stealers.  Yes, there will be days when we need to access information and it is also nice to read encouraging words from other ladies who are striving to serve the Lord; I am not saying these things are bad.  But...set a timer for how long you should be on the computer, or visiting with a friend on the phone.  Make a time in your schedule.  But don't waste away your days there, somewhere, other than your home sweet home!


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18 comments:

  1. Great post :-)!!!! Thanks for your boldness, much appreciated!

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  2. Amen! I've been pretty much leaving facebook and blogging for the weekends when dh is watching tv or playing video games with the girls. I do try to take a nap during the day and let them watch something I allow (there are only 2 channels I allow) while I am napping.

    It is certainly easy to lose track of time and I was worse when I first got on the net!

    Love,

    Mrs. A

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  3. Thank you, ladies. Yes, Rosemi, we must be careful to guard our time :)

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  4. You have given us very wise and truthful words here, Mrs. Q. It's so easy to get distracted with other things that do not pertain to the home if we are not careful with our time.

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  5. Excellent my friend.
    Very true and wise thoughts ou have shared here!
    blessings..Trish

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  6. Thank you, my dear friends.
    Love, Mrs. Q

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  7. It does bear repeating.

    Live YOUR real life first!!

    Everything comes AFTER the computer.

    Prayer, Bible reading, worship, husbands, children, homeschooling, cleaning, cooking, visiting the widows and loving the neighbors.

    The computer is not a substitute for our real life.

    Agreeing with you,
    Clevsea

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  8. Agreed, Clevsea. Thanks for your visit!

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  9. Wonderful post, I am very thankful, in the 90 and early 2000's I did not have the distractions of internet but I did have TV and that was hard enough to put aside.

    Thanks for the Godly reminder of where our hearts should be focused.

    Jenny

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  10. Jenny--we got the internet much after everyone else, and yes, it was so hard to stay off for some time. Mothers must be disciplined and say no to all the distractions that keep us away from what is important.

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  11. I agree the computer and the current blog frenzy is a big time waster. I saw the other day a popular homemaking blog issue a "get dressed challenge". That made me a bit sad, we really have to challenge women to get dressed in the morning and it will now encouage them to be on the com puter more and check out what all the other ladies that will "link up" will wear. A time waster.

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  12. This was a very good and timely post and I really like what commenter Clevsea said. Live your real life first!

    Blessings,
    Theresa

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  13. excellent post! i caught myself saying ouch a few times :(

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  14. Suzanne--wow, I had not seen that, but yes, if we need to be "challenged" to get dressed in the morning...? That doesn't look very well no the full time job of being a homemaker...

    Thank you, Theresa. I too, like Clevsea's comment.

    Tami, I think every homemaker has been guilty of wasting time at some point. Tomorrow is a new day! May we allow the Lord to change us and point out what needs to be changed. ♥

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  15. Been there, done that...I've even turned my nose at the ones who go out to work, while I stay home, yet ignore my children, leave the chores undone, and idle away my time doing what pleases me! Oh sinful woman that I am. Thanks for the reminder...now time to get off this computer and practice what I know is right :)

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  16. So much truth in this post. My laundry has piled up for months because I wanted to make sure I congratulation my family on everything, that I didn't "miss" anything. I've over slept because I was "busy" on facebook until 2am. Spending hours on facebook on my phone, when I was away from home. I use my phone to look at fb even BEFORE I get out of bed. I am addicted to fb. Sad. But tonight, I am imposing a self detox. I deleted fb from my phone, and Will not be logging on until I feel I have adequate discipline to do so. Thank you for this post. God spoke through you. =)

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  17. Another great post that I kept shaking my head in agreement too thinking "amen!". You have such a great blog. Smiles, Cass

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