Sunday, November 6, 2011

So You Think You Should Go to Work?

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Do you ever get tired of being bombarded with the idea that you should go to work?  Everywhere you turn there are ads about going back to school to further your education--this is especially targeted to women these days--all so you can have that wonderful career your life is not complete without.  Maybe your relatives (or in-laws) wonder why you don't help your husband out with a paycheck--poor guy is providing all on his own!  Maybe your husband is trying to get you out the door, because, after all, you're not really helping him unless you're bringing in money of your own.

Maybe even you, yourself, have been tempted to think that things would just be easier if you found a job, oh just part time even...It would so much ease the burden of the finances!  Maybe you feel guilty that the economy is so bad and your husband is struggling to make ends meet.  Maybe you think you could help out...just a little.

Do not be deceived!  If you are a homemaker, you have a full time job already.  You most likely work more hours than your husband.  Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for taking care of your home, husband, and children.  It is a big job to do.

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Maybe you know the Scriptures that clearly state that the woman's job is to be a keeper at home, but you think to yourself..."Well...I can have a job and be a keeper at home!"  Well, if you are away from home, at a job, you cannot be keeping the home.  You simply will not be there to keep it if you are at a job.

Note:  This is not to condemn any woman who is working outside of the home against her own desires.  It is to dissuade women who would willingly take on this responsibility that is not theirs, and to encourage other women who are bombarded with guilt for doing their God-appointed duty of keeping the home.

If you are having any of these thoughts or problems with others regarding your proper duty of being a wife, homemaker, and mother, I want to encourage you to go read a story called When Queens Ride By.  It will show you how you can best help your husband and children, even in these hard times.

Also, read Taylor Caldwell's essay about women's liberation.  Thank you so much to Lady Lydia for the links.

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  1. Dear Mrs Q.
    First of all thanks for visiting my blog and leaving your lovely comment on my op/thrift store finds, as I am a stay at home mum of six these stores help greatly in sticking to my budget.
    I also thank you for the above post. I have been a working woman, both before and after my children arrived. I have also been grieved to leave a small child with others while going out to work.. My heart was torn and I longed to stay home with my small child.
    It is very important in this day to know that it is OK to stay at home, there are so many outside influences that would drag us away from our little ones. So many voices telling us it's not OK. That we should be pulling more of the financial weight.
    I love being a stay at home mum. I highly recommend it.
    Blessings to you Nell

  2. I have been there too, Nell. How wonderful that you can stay home now!

  3. A lovely post, so clearly spoken. Its tempting, when being "pushed" to second-guess ourselves and think, "Well, maybe if I go to work, it will lessen the pressure on me and some people will find more favor with me," but if you leave, it brings on more problems! I know one woman who was "forced" to go to work but she cried every day all the way to work and even sometimes AT work, where she had an employer that treated her terribly. These women go from one authority at home to another at work, and are under two authorities. The Bible does not teach women to obey a father, a husband, an employer, all the school officials, and on and on. They should limit their lives to one place where people will leave them in peace and where they can flourish and be stress free--the home---a fortress of protection!

  4. This is a wonderful post, Mrs. Q!

    I started working when I was 15, and I worked up until I was almost 24, when I was expecting my first child. All I had ever wanted was to be a wife, mother, and homemaker. My husband agreed that I would stay home with our children (and educate them at home), but he felt at the time that I should work up until the time the baby was born. God had other plans, as I was too sick to even get out of bed during my pregnancy. I had to quit my job. I was so happy to be able to stay at home at last, but it wasn't much fun at first because I was so sick. It is so much nicer when a new bride can stay at home right from the start and be a true helpmeet and keeper at home.

    All of my jobs were very stressful and discouraging. As a Christian it was very difficult to work with mostly unbelievers, and very hard to have them make fun of me day after day (because I didn't watch TV, didn't live immorally, didn't go to bars, etc.). And these jobs were in "respectable" places like the business office at a medical clinic, the business office at a graduate school, etc. I so much agree with Lady Lydia's comment above! Getting a job outside the home will only cause more problems.

    Since I've lived that "career woman" lifestyle already, I never wonder what it would be like to go out and get a job somewhere, even though financially many people might look at us and think we are foolish to try living on one income. I regularly thank the Lord for the privilege of being a homemaker!

  5. So true, Lady Lydia. If a woman goes out to work, then she also has a boss to listen to. How can she submit to a boss and her husband as well?

    Joy--the workplace is no fun at all, as I have had several jobs in the past. Such immorality and pressures in the workplace that a Christian woman should not have to be in day in and day out.

  6. We have lived on one income since we married. I am so thankful for this! It has not always been easy, but it has been such a blessing to work to provide a haven for my family and to support my husband with homemade meals, etc...


  7. A very good reminder, Emily. We need to prove that by staying home we can help our husband's financially. We can make sure they get a good breakfast in the morning and have his lunch sack ready so they don't have to spend on fast food. While they are away we should find ways to live off as little as possible if debt is the big issue. Breastfeeding as long as possible, and buying only what is needed, as cheaply as you can, even if it requires working harder in the home, is worth it if it convinces him that staying home is best. There are all kinds of ways to live very cheaply and teach the children to be happy from the start so that they don't pressure daddy with their spoiled behavior or make him feel in any way that lack of money is causing a unhappy lifestyle. We can live on little and still be happy.


    Mrs. A.

  8. Excellent post! I came home a few years back and I have daily struggled with guilt about not
    helping out. Thanks to much encouragement from my heavenly Father and blogs like these I more and more feel comfortable knowing I am working Full-time (at home) just not the way the world
    says I should. Blessings

  9. Actually, with jobs so hard to find, it's a really good time for us to NOT work so that there are more jobs available for the men in the family. :)

  10. I used to be a preschool teacher at a Christian school. I was appreciated and treated well there for the most part. I realized though, that I was doing the parents' job and by doing so, I was taking energy and creativity that should have been applied to my home and family and giving it away to others. I am glad to be at home, giving what I have to my own family...........Denise

  11. i linked to you below but it doesn't seem to be showing up. ~

  12. Wonderful post! I recently worked on the "Staying Home" series with Lady Lydia, and it was sure a blessing to write about something to give encouragement to other women!

    God Bless you.

  13. I appreciate your post very much. Today, has been a hard day for me. Our church had many women arrive from their mission trip. It appears to me, these woman seem to have the finances to pay money to go on this trip and be away from their homes a whole week. Sacrifice for the Lord for a week. It pained me today. I don't draw too many woman to want to get to know me much; especially, the smart, educated, more wealthy women. The ones drawn to me are uasually, a bit of a less "ambitious," lower income status. It kind of hurts for a variety of reasons. A matter a fact, a girl joked that we were not in with the mission people. She was joking. but, I kind of felt her pain. So, my brain starts to go along the lines...that if I had extra money from working, my daughter could have gone or I could have. It is this weird feeling that I am being stubborn or something, or selfish. Somehow, it seems the ones that go do ministry things for the Lord are more spiritual or something. I know this isn't true. But, my emotions get tugged and these kinds of thoughts come into my heart...and it hurts. Finding your article today has been an encouragement. So thank you.

  14. I really needed this lately! Thanks for sharing. My husband just separated from the Navy (not retired) so I've been feeling pressured to go back to work. Not from my husband, just from the idea that we may be struggling without that military pay. I love your blog, btw. It's been a while since I stopped in.

    Renee N.

  15. Deanna~It is great that you started off your marriage staying home. Many women start off working and then it is hard for them to get back home.

    Mrs. A~I think there are SO many ways we help our husbands financially by being at home.

    Anon~glad you were encouraged. We all need it.

    I agree with the commentor that stated it is a very good time to not be hogging jobs!

    Denise~so good you came to that realization. It is the parents' responsibility to teach their children, I believe.

    Tami, thank you for the link.

    Andrea--I read some of that series and it was wonderful, thank you.

    Anon with the mission trips--I can see your discouragement, but try not to let it bother you. You have your VERY OWN mission field in your HOME that you are ministering to every day.

    Hello, Renee. It is sad that we are made to feel guilty for doing what we are supposed to do!

  16. Beautifully stated, Mrs. Q. I find that the more I do what I'm supposed to do in my home - the Lord silences those who are opposed to His precepts.

    I pray for the grace and power for all of us to continue forward. I will definitely take a look at the links you mentioned.

    Sending a big hug your way.

  17. Thank you, Jasmine. We all need to encourage each other to do the Lord's will. God bless you.

  18. Amen, Mrs. Q! Such excellent words of wisdom for us as Christian Wives!

  19. I'm sharing on Domestically Divine today. Thank you.

  20. I needed this. I have often struggled with if I should go back to school so that I can get a job helping others. I, once again, had been planning to do so, but this post reminded me of my place and job.

    I struggle with this so much that it brings me to tears. I was raised to NEVER submit to a man, to have a "good education" and a "good paying job," and to marry for money. I was not taught to take care of a home. I did not follow my family's plan at all. I married my husband because I love him, didn't finish college, and am a stay-at-home mom to 2 children. I'm a horrible housekeeper and not the best wife. I am a great mother though and pray for God to help me in the other areas.

  21. I was actually in the US Army as a young wife and mother--no greater cure for wanting to have it "all"! Today, after 29 years of marriage and 15 children, I would never, ever willingly trade my wonderful home life to become a "wage-slave", even on my worst day!


    Sherry (Large Family Mothering)

  22. Great post! It was very encouraging to me. I am a somewhat new stay-at-home wife (until God blesses my husband and I with children) and at times I feel I need to explain myself to others about what I do as a homemaker.

    It is difficult because quite a few people think I am lazy or wasting my time, when that is most definitely not the case! I am more busy now than when I had a full-time office job. I am cooking all of the meals, deep cleaning, and making my home a haven of hospitality, beauty, and peace.

    I absolutely love it and my husband does as well, but it does get discouraging when there are so few people out there that actually agree with what I do (especially because I don't have children yet).

    All that to say, again, thank you for the encouragement!

    May God bless you,

  23. That's definitely true that being a housewife is already a job and a big responsibility as well. Keeping home clean is not so easy as many may think. It involves a lot of stuff and takes a lot of time and efforts. So, men prior to condemn should try to be housekeeper. A lot of them won't even cope with most housekeeping tasks. And I don't even mention how professional women are when it comes to saving money on some products and services. Men should value their wives and the job they do for them.

  24. Hello, good post, I want to be just like the woman in the Bible, which makes her arms, which makes and sells business, which considers investing in a field and buys it, which takes decisions by family I want to be productive at home and at this time there are ways to do it, I want to use the talents God gave me through my profession not hide, everything is for the glory of the Lord!

  25. My husband said he wanted me home to raise our four children and numerous foster children. Then he changed his mind and insisted I take a low wage job, after having our children. I had no college and couldn't get a decent job. I had few options and had to leave my young children. I was exhausted all the time and felt betrayed by my husband. Make sure your husband will stay true to his commitment to you as a full time homemaker...

  26. That's awful, Maureen. Wives these days sadly often feel pressured by their husbands to go and get a job. But we need to remember that a husband does not have authority to do this, because the Scriptures already say what a wife is to do--be a keeper at home, and for the man to provide for his family. A husband cannot make his wife go to work.


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