Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Church is a Lonely Place for Homemakers


Time and time again I've had Christian homemakers, Biblical keepers-at-home, write in to me and say how lonely it is at church because the church is full of feminists.  It feels so lonely there because in a time for having fellowship, the other women are all talking about their work week.  Instead of talking about their week spent at home preparing lovely meals for their husbands, teaching their children about the world God made, cleaning the home, sharing time management tips, or even about difficulties with parenting children, many Christian women think they have now found their "higher purpose" in having a job outside of the home.  Even if their children are all grown and out of the house, they very rarely relate to the younger women who are in the throws of raising a family because their minds are consumed with holding down a paying job.  This is not how the Bible says it should be. 

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

(Titus 2:3-5)
Besides this, the mother at home is often neglected in sermons and rarely receives any encouragement for her good works at home (though in some churches, praise thankfully still happens).  Perhaps the preacher is afraid of offending the working wives if he praises the keepers at home too much.  Sermons may only center on a few favorite verses or focus always on evangelism, and often home life that applies to mothers, fathers, and children is sadly left out.  Homemakers then often get the feeling that their work is not important, or is less important, because after all, they are not out "winning souls" like the men.


I want to encourage you...

Your work at home is important.  

It does matter.

Even if no one acknowledges it or says a single word about it...

Even if there is no one at church to talk to about womanly things (keeping a home, raising children, teaching your children, loving and serving in your home)...

God sees you...

And He values what you are doing.

As a bonus, we now have the internet where we can find like-minded women who love serving their families at home!  I'm so thankful that there are still women writing lovely blogs in between taking care of their families (or even when their families have grown), so we can learn from each other and still have a bit of "Titus 2".

So despite discouragements we may have, let's labor on in love for our families, and may we one day hear from the Lord Jesus Christ, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

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  1. Thank you SO much for this post!!!! This resonates with me. I'm 64 years old and have been home ever since our son was born 34 years ago. It is a very rare thing if I run into another woman who has chosen to be at home long after the children grow up and leave the home. I pray all the time that the Lord will lead me to other women who chose to be homemakers rather than go into the work place. I totally feel out of place (even at church) when others are talking about their work and I kind of feel like an odd duck when they find out that I'm at home. It just doesn't make sense to them so then that can create in me a questioning of myself. So thank you, again, for your encouragement!!!! I needed that today. : )

    1. I also have been at home ever since I got married. I still have children at home but words have been spoken about how I'll get a job one day won't I? I don't want a paying job as there is so much work to do in the Kingdom as an older woman I want to be free to do the Lord's work, so not sure how that will all pan out when I get to that stage, but trusting in the Lord's leading.

    2. You are so very welcome. Oh, what a blessing that you have been home all that time. I'm glad this has been an encouragement to you. There's no need to question yourself--you're not doing anything wrong by being home--you're doing a blessed work there!

  2. When I was raising my children, I was not encouraged by family or friends at home or church to be a homemaker, stay at home mom, wife, etc. I had fellowship with other Christian woman that stayed home as I was a part of a Mother's Club, sewing circle, Women's Group. Still, there were not the words or prayers for encouragement. It had to have been the spirit of God that kept me going. Lovely post.

  3. Thank you for these beautiful words of encouragement!

  4. Thank you so much for your blog ! The articles are always just what I need to keep me encouraged. I too have felt very sad, confused and disappointed over the years that our general callings as husbands, wives, and children are neglected in the preaching. Although we've always attended very conservative churches, we have never once heard a single sermon on what scripture has to say about these important roles, especially the calling for wives to be workers at home. Therefore it's just ignored by everyone and yes I feel very alone. God Bless you and please keep the encouragement coming !

  5. Je suis contente de vous lire et merci pour ces mots ! Nous les femmes ou mères au foyer sommes souvent incomprises et je me sens parfois "anormale" .Mais je sais que mon foyer a connu la paix et la sérénité grâce à ma présence alors je suis reconnaissante d'avoir pû élever mes enfants, soutenir mon époux . C'est ma vie ! Dieu vous bénisse et Notre-Dame vous garde

  6. Personally, I've found that the smaller the church the more homemakers will be found there. And you are right about preachers not wanting to offend, esp in large churches, and today often the preacher's wife works. Janine

  7. Sadly, I couldn't agree with this more. I'm so very thankful for blogs like yours that offer such encouragement! Thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to pour into others. God bless you and your family <3

  8. I can identify with this post so much! Thank you for the encouragement.

  9. This is very encouraging! God bless you!

  10. I am grateful to be part of a local group of Christian homemaker, homeschooling mums that gather together for bible study most weeks. We can talk about our lives freely and everyone understand where each other is coming from and yes we talk about how we can support our husbands and care for and teach our children well as well as household chores etc. So good. I hope you all can find likeminded women to fellowship with and encourage in the Lord, too.

  11. Thankyou for this encouraging reminder, I needed this at this moment.

  12. Something a dear old lady preacher at my church told me years ago when I was struggling with three small children and feeling very alone: "God made mothers, dearie. He understands."

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  14. I’d like to point out (although I know this is entirely late compared to the posts date) that if the church you are in doesn’t follow the biblical pattern for womens roles, then they aren’t a biblical church with right doctrine and standards.
    I and my family are members at a Fundamental Independent Baptist Church with a wonderful leadership and Pastor who only preach from the Word of God and desire for us all to please the Lord by being in our own roles he has for us. My church believes the women should be homemakers and child readers, but also unfortunately we all understand the times we live in where it is very hard to maintain living situations without the women working part time jobs sometimes if necessary. Or if a single mother gets saved, she can’t just quit her job to be at home. There are always exceptions but it is never the standard.
    My point is, find a church that actually believes the Bible and you won’t feel as though you are somewhere that doesn’t approve of or encourage your biblical living.
    Specific messages have been about child rearing, women in the home, husbands love their wives, etc. I get spiritually fed consistently. I know not every city or state or country has what we have, but if possible, find something darn close to it.


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