Tell the Young Women

 

Someone needs to tell young women that it will rip their heart out to say goodbye every day when they drop their baby off at daycare to go to work. Someone needs to warn them that it will hurt deeply to have their baby's first smiles and first words and first steps witnessed by someone else because they weren't there. It's going to be traumatic to have their child cry and cling to them, begging them not to leave again, and worse when they walk away and don't even bother to say goodbye because it's normal not to have mom around. We have to tell young women the truth about human biology and psychology. Our society is in denial.
 
How have we, as a society, decided that it's normal and fine to separate a mother from her small child for most of the waking hours of most days? How did we get duped into thinking that babies getting a bottle from a stranger is the same as being nursed by the mother whose womb carried them and whose voice they know and whose heart cherishes every little expression and sound? Do we really believe that love doesn't matter to little ones? That merely keeping them alive and perhaps entertained is enough?
What too often happens is that women are taught from a young age to build their life around their career. So they rack up tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt, and they buy a house and two cars based on two incomes. They're dependent on their job to cover their debt and expenses. When they finally decide they're ready for a baby, they think they can just put baby in daycare and go back to work. It sounds like a perfect plan...until you actually have a baby and you bond with that baby and you see how much that baby needs their mom.

Women need to understand the needs of babies and factor that into their plans. If you wait until you're stuck in a 2-income lifestyle to find out that mothers and babies belong together, then you're often unable to escape the heart-wrenching guilt and trauma of leaving your baby and the harm to the child from not having their loving mother with them. If we stop pretending babies are mere possessions that only need impersonal inputs like food and shelter and start remembering that they're people who need love and nurturing, maybe we can start building lifestyles that take those needs into consideration. A baby doesn't just need any old caregiver. They need their mother, specifically. No one can replace her.

If we tell these things to young women before they go off to college and build a career and marry expecting to have two incomes, then they can plan accordingly. Ladies, think carefully before taking on large debt that will require you to work consistently for a decade or more to pay it off. Live on one income when you marry and save the second income (if you have one) for a rainy day. Don't buy a house or a car based on having to keep two incomes indefinitely to pay for it. Plan for the ability to stay home with your children, or at least work from home. Plan for the needs of your future children. One day, you'll be glad you did.

 

~Lindsay Harold 

My note:  I agree with all of the above except I'd like to point out that a wife needs no "second income" or to work from home.  We need to get back to the thinking of a family living off of the husband's income, no matter what it is, & relying on the family learning to live frugally instead of the wife seeking to earn an income.   Be blessed, dear Christian homemakers 💕

 

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Church is a Lonely Place for Homemakers

 

Time and time again I've had Christian homemakers, Biblical keepers-at-home, write in to me and say how lonely it is at church because the church is full of feminists.  It feels so lonely there because in a time for having fellowship, the other women are all talking about their work week.  Instead of talking about their week spent at home preparing lovely meals for their husbands, teaching their children about the world God made, cleaning the home, sharing time management tips, or even about difficulties with parenting children, many Christian women think they have now found their "higher purpose" in having a job outside of the home.  Even if their children are all grown and out of the house, they very rarely relate to the younger women who are in the throws of raising a family because their minds are consumed with holding down a paying job.  This is not how the Bible says it should be. 

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

(Titus 2:3-5)

Besides this, the mother at home is often neglected in sermons and rarely receives any encouragement for her good works at home (though in some churches, praise thankfully still happens).  Perhaps the preacher is afraid of offending the working wives if he praises the keepers at home too much.  Sermons may only center on a few favorite verses or focus always on evangelism, and often home life that applies to mothers, fathers, and children is sadly left out.  Homemakers then often get the feeling that their work is not important, or is less important, because after all, they are not out "winning souls" like the men.

But.....

I want to encourage you...

Your work at home is important.  

It does matter.

Even if no one acknowledges it or says a single word about it...

Even if there is no one at church to talk to about womanly things (keeping a home, raising children, teaching your children, loving and serving in your home)...

God sees you...

And He values what you are doing.

As a bonus, we now have the internet where we can find like-minded women who love serving their families at home!  I'm so thankful that there are still women writing lovely blogs in between taking care of their families (or even when their families have grown), so we can learn from each other and still have a bit of "Titus 2".

So despite discouragements we may have, let's labor on in love for our families, and may we one day hear from the Lord Jesus Christ, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

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Do You Ever Feel Like This?

"A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life. She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother. She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband and children would make a difference. At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated. “Is it worth it?” she often wondered. “Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?”

 

"It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard the still small voice of her heavenly Father speak to her heart. “You are a wife and mother because that is what I have called you to be. Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye. But I notice. Most of what you give is done without remuneration. But I am your reward. Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support. Your influence upon him is greater than you think and more powerful than you will ever know. I bless him through your service and honor him through your love. 

 

"Your children are precious to Me. Even more precious than they are to you. I have entrusted them to your care to raise for me. What you invest in them is an offering to me. You may never be in the public spot light. But your obedience shines as a bright light before me. Continue on. Remember you are My servant. Do all to please Me.” 

 

~ Roy Lessin

Oh, aren't these encouraging words?  When we do all these things for our families, it may be hard.  No one may notice day to day.  But God sees all we do.  Let's remember that.

Have you gotten your Home Management bundle yet?

 

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Love and Prayer and Purity

 

The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies. 

- J.R. Miller

Please join me today for a little homemaking encouragement I wrote at Christian Homemaking.

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Ambition

 

"As for her, like most women, she had but one ambition. To be a good wife and a good mother, and to be beloved by her husband and children, was all she asked. [She was] a busy, affectionate, cheerful little housewife, whose voice would never be heard in the streets, but whose memory would always live in a few faithful hearts."


~Elizabeth Prentiss

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A Wise Young Man

A young man I know was recently telling me of a wife who was going to work against her husband's wishes.  We were discussing praying for that family in that situation, but this boy, who is entering into his young manhood, wisely observed a couple of things.  

He said, "I don't even understand why women go to work when their husbands work anyways.  Whenever I see women working at their jobs, they always seem so stressed out, but not so with the men--they are mostly cheerful."

How observant is this!  He is being so honest about the state of most women today--trying to fill a role they were never meant to fill, and taking upon them Adam's curse (Genesis 3:17) and also his duty to provide.  It goes against a woman's nature to provide, unless she is in a true emergency situation, such as the death of her husband when no one is providing for her (by the way, the Bible prescribes a remedy for this as well).

I hope no one steals this young man's astute understanding away, and that he will always trust in what God's Word says, including the roles of men and women.

Also, I pray that more Christian women will return home to where they belong, guarding, guiding, and keeping the home, as the Bible prescribes.  The world is in a dire situation, and a great deal of it is because Christian women have abandoned the home.

If you know of some good blogs that encourage women to be keepers at home (along with other Biblical things), would you leave them in the comments below?  I'm sure we all could use some encouragement.

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God Loves the Vocation of Homemaking

Thank You Mr. Strachan!

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The True Wife's Kingdom

 

Home is the true wife's kingdom. Very largely does the wife hold in her hands, as a sacred trust, the happiness and the highest good of the hearts that nestle there. In the last analysis, home happiness depends on the wife.  

Her spirit gives the home its atmosphere. 

Her hands fashion its beauty.  

Her heart makes its love.  

And the end is so worthy, so noble, so divine, that no woman who has been called to be a wife, and has listened to the call, should consider any price too great to pay, to be the light, the joy, the blessing, the inspiration of a home.  

The woman who makes a sweet, beautiful home, filling it with love and prayer and purity, is doing something better than anything else her hands could find to do beneath the skies. 

A true mother is one of the holiest secrets of home happiness. God sends many beautiful things to this world, many noble gifts; but no blessing is richer than that which He bestows in a mother who has learned love's lessons well, and has realized something of the meaning of her sacred calling. 

~ James Russell Miller (1840 - 1912)

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Husbands' Duties

 

"Part of the duty of godly and loving husbands is to free their wives to be women so they will not have to do what has been Divinely assigned to men."

~Blair Bradley

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Two Adams?!

God didn't make two Adams to go out from the home and leave the children. He made an Adam and an Eve. He planned for the mother to be in the heart of the home and embrace and nurture children. 

~Nancy Campbell

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Lured Away from the Home

 

Thousands of women have been lured from the home by humanists & feminists trying to find their fulfillment in their career outside the home. They have been deceived to think that childbearing is an inferior task when all along it is the greatest mission given to them.  

~Nancy Campbell

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A Woman Interested in Eternal Things

 

“The most radical thing that will set you apart as a raving revolutionary is to be a woman at home with your children, bucking the whole system of materialism, bucking the whole system of secularism . . . and saying: I’m not interested in me, myself, and I, my body, or whatever. I’m interested in eternal things because what these children are, are the only things in this life that I can take to heaven. And so they are the only investment.”
-Frank Schaeffer

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Conversation in the Home

 

"Few things are important in a home than its conversation, and yet there are few things to which less thought is given. The power of communication, which lies in the tongue, is simply incalculable." 

"But home conversation needs to be more then love to give it its full influence. It ought to be enriched by thought. The Saviour's warning against idle words should be remembered. Every wise-hearted parent will seek to train his household to converse on subjects that will yield instruction or tend toward refinement." 

~J.R. Miller

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Healthful Food~ A Gift

 

“We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.”
~Adelle Davis

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{Artwork by Johannes Vermeer (1632–1675)}

Careers are Abnormal for Women

"It is vital and it is our duty before God to pass good mothering to future generations. Career is not where we should be leading our girls. It seems to me that motherhood is normal and career is abnormal. It is quite a normal thing for a mother to teach her daughters how to be the loving heart of the home. She needs to pass on the gentle arts of sewing, quilting, knitting, crochet and many of the other fine needle arts. These are the works that keep the female heart with a contented spirit." 

-Rosie Gil

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Great Food for Thought

The state of the nation is always determined by the state of the home. 

~Anna Sofia Botkin

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Letting Teens Get a Job is Not a Good Way to Keep Them Busy

When children become a certain age, some Christian parents think it would be a great idea to allow them to get a job to "keep them busy" and earn some money.  Not only is this popular for boys, but also has become popular for teenage girls.  Why parents want to send their teen daughters out into the world to earn money is beyond me.  It is not in a young woman's nature to hold a job, and certainly doesn't prepare her to be a wife and homemaker.

My parents did this with me, and I had several jobs before I was saved.  One summer before I was even old enough to hold a paying job, they sent me to a camp to be a camp "counselor in training" to "keep me busy", and they even paid me to do it since it wasn't a paying position.  All of these places of employment did me no good and actually caused much harm.

Before parents consider allowing or even encouraging their teens to get a job outside the home, there is much to think about Biblically, especially with concern for their souls and how a place of employment might affect their future.  Jobs outside the home hold a lot of danger and temptation for young people who still are not mature.  It is very similar to sending them off to public school.



Consider the following:

At a job, teens are exposed to and cannot get away from

• Their boss.  They are at the demand of their manager to be available to do what he/she wants at whatever time he/she wants (though with some restrictions due to their age).  This boss most likely won't care about things like your teen keeping the Lord's Day or having convictions about not doing certain things.
• Their co-workers.  Co-workers can be the worst "companions" which your teen will naturally have to be around and cannot get away from in the workplace.  If you send your teen off to a job, do not be surprised if they are exposed to filthy language and jokes, drug use, alcohol use, people fornicating, along with the more subtle views of their coworkers that are prevalent in our society, such as feminism, environmentalism, evolution, etc.  Teens are still very much in their formative and immature years and will find it hard to be the only one standing against such evils in our society.
• Wicked music.  Often in places of business, raunchy, inappropriate music is played, and your teen will have to listen to this all day and cannot get away from it.  Co-workers may also play their own music which your teen may be exposed to.
• Customers.  Depending on the type of job your teen has, there may often be customers that your teen has to interact with that expose them to things you wouldn't want.
• Sexual advances.  It is a sad fact that if you send your daughter off to a job, you can expect that someone will at some point act inappropriately toward her.  And in our backwards society, even young girls feel emboldened to make sexual advances towards young men, so you can expect this if you have sons as well.  If you want to keep your children pure until their marriage, sending them off to a place of employment is not a very good way to do it.
• Technology.  Co-workers these days most likely have smartphones where they freely show other people porn or other wicked photos and videos.  Are you ready for your teen to be exposed to this?  Also, would your teen have other access to computers or other technology where they could search for or even accidentally stumble upon some of the wickedness that is on the internet?  The temptation for teens is very real in this area, and once seen, these things cannot be unseen.
• Immodesty.  Many places of employment will expose your teen to high levels of immodesty that they wouldn't have to deal with at home.  This is especially problematic for teen boys who are trying to keep themselves pure in thought and deed.
• Your teen most likely will be asked by coworkers to "hang out" at other times other than the workplace. Don't be surprised if your teen forms an attachment to the people they are around at work, wanting to be around them instead of their family.

There are many dangers of sending your teen out to work in our modern world, and loving, Christian parents would do best to seriously consider these.  Even homeschooling parents who have foreseen the dangers of public school, sometimes send their children out to jobs where they will be exposed to many of the great evils they were seeking to avoid at school.

Even if you send your teen to work at a place that you are familiar with, or even to a place of employment where the owners are professing Christians, you will run into many of the same issues.

What is the solution then?

For young women, I see no reason for her to ever need "job experience", as the Bible has made it clear for what young women are to be concerned with.  

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. ~Titus 2:3-5

There is no reason for a daughter from a Christian home to get a job outside of the home.  Let her learn beside her mother, the many and varied skills of home-keeping while she has the time on her hands!  It makes no sense for her to wait until she is married to learn these needed skills.  There are always more things to learn, and before she is married, she has the ability to become very good at these things. Older daughters at home can be a tremendous blessing to their mothers.  Daughters at home should be learning contentment within the home sphere and to not be led by selfish desires.

For young men, it is a bit more difficult.  Obviously, young men need to at some point learn to be providers.  At what time this occurs and in what way will greatly depend on the individual young man, his walk with Christ, and his maturity.  But do not be fooled into thinking that your teen boy is beyond being tempted or lured away from his faith by the above mentioned dangers.  Even if he is not led away into a snare, if he's working at a place of employment, he will be exposed to things that will most likely leave an impression on his young heart for the rest of his life.  That's why we must be ever so careful and wise in our decisions.  It would be best if his Christian father had his own business that his son could get involved in.  That way his father can still be with his young man and guide him as he steps out into the working world.  Other options are if your teen son can have his own "business" doing yard work or other such things for neighbors where he is still close to home and has a sense of accountability.  If he has a brother or even his own father to come alongside him, even better, as they can provide each other accountability.



Other ways to keep teens busy are to have a family life that is busy with regular family dinners and family worship.  These are important duties that should be happening every day, and many teens start to miss out on them if they are at jobs in the evenings.  Families can also minister together to other people in many ways, as well as share the Gospel.  Don't forget family walks, outings, and other enjoyable leisure activities.  Doing things together as a family is so beneficial for all family members, and prepares our young teens to one day have their own families and spend time with them instead of leading their separate lives.

Even though this may seem "different", don't cave into the pressure of those around you to do what everyone else is doing or what seems right in their own eyes.  What is most important is our children's souls, and so we must always have their spiritual wellbeing in mind.


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Let's Get it Straight About the Proverbs 31 Woman

So many professing Christian women today have such a thoroughly career and feminist mindset, that they see the opportunity or mandate to make money in all the women of the Bible.  This is especially the case with the Proverbs 31 woman.  But, let's get it straight.  The Proverbs 31 woman was not a real estate agent, nor did she hold any other sort of career we might dream up.  She was a woman of great virtue, who went to great lengths in taking care of her family.  She was a description of a virtuous woman that King Lemuel's mother was admonishing him to seek as he looked for a wife.  If we use this as a cause or excuse to go out to work away from our families, we are being deceived by the Enemy of our souls.  We need only look to Genesis to see who is to be the provider for the household: the husband, who is to toil by the sweat of his brow to see that the needs of his family are met.  Why take on that curse, oh Christian women?

For a more thorough look into this assumption about the Proverbs 31 woman, I will now direct you to a post by my friend Lady Lydia, which points out some of the errors of looking at the Proverbs 31 woman as someone who was interested in making money. There is also some discussion on this same trait that is often ascribed to Lydia in the Bible.  Neither were career women!  And even more than that, we are always to look to the directions given to us in Scripture, and to only follow other people as much as they are following those commands given by the Lord in His Word.

Lady Lydia's post can be read here {Proverbs 31: Career Woman? (And Lydia, Seller of Purple)}.

Another excellent post Lady Lydia has written on the Proverbs 31 woman is Taking Time to Reflect.

Other posts Lady Lydia has done about the Proverbs 31 Woman:
Some of the Other Things in Proverbs 31
Caring for Your Own

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No Greater Task Than Making a Home

It is the simple fact that there is no greater task, responsibility and privilege in this world than to make a home. It may well be that when women are involved in the hundred and one wearing duties which children and a home bring with them, they may say: “If only I could be done with all this, so that I could live a truly religious life.” There is in fact nowhere where a truly religious life can better be lived than within the home. 

In the last analysis there can be no greater career than that of homemaking. Many a man, who has set his mark upon the world, has been enabled to do so simply because someone at home loved him and tended him. It is infinitely more important that a mother should be at home to put her children to bed and hear them say their prayers than that she should attend all the public and Church meetings in the world. 

It has been said that consecration is that which makes drudgery divine; and there is no place where consecration can be more necessarily and beautifully shown than within the four walls of the place which we call home. The world can do without its committee meetings; it cannot do without its homes; and a home is not a home when the mistress of the home is absent from it.

~W. Barclay, in The Letters to Timothy, Titus, and Philemon

Oh, what a beautiful and blessed quote!  So often, we Christian women, even in the church, are discouraged from our great homemaking duties.  We receive no encouragement from the pulpit, no recognition of our great duties, no realization that we are doing a great work at home, raising up the future generations which will hopefully fill the churches.  Instead, we often only hear how our children will be taught at church instead of by us, or that we women must be at every church meeting or we are thereby neglecting our Chrisitan duty.  There are so many things trying to take us away from home and being keepers there.  But at home, at home, is our blessed duty unto our Lord.  Let us be happy making a beautiful, Christ-centered home for our families.

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What is a Christian Woman's Ministry?

Where is your ministry?

This is Part 2 in a series by Mrs. Mosser. You can read the first part here.

The previous post on the silly reasons women send their children to school was about the child being a light. This one discusses their own 'light'.

Here is reason number 2: My ministry is to other women, and I can't do that if I'm homeschooling. Or, I have Bible Study Thursday mornings. How can I do that if I'm homeschooling?

First off, your first ministry is NOT to other women, but to your husband and children. Back to Titus 2:3-5!

The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

It says here to love your husbands and children. When you refuse to minister to your own children by sending them off, you are, according to this passage, blaspheming the Word of God. Is that what you want? That may not be your desire, but it's what you're doing. The bible says to obey is better than sacrifice.

When you pass off the spiritual care of your children to the wolves, you are not only sending them to hell, you are teaching the other women false doctrine. You are blaspheming God's word here too! They will also send their little lambs to the wolves because you are saying it's perfectly acceptable. You are saying, by your actions, that the Word of God is fallible, and that you don't have to obey it. You are saying that it's ok to disobey some passages of Scripture because, well, me!

Hear, O Israel: the LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Here it tells us that we are to be teaching our own children at home. We cannot teach them adequately the Word of God when they are away from home the majority of the day!

Another point you make to your children is that they are not worthy of your time and effort, but look at what it says in Mark 8:35-37:

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

What shall it profit you if you save all these other women while sending your own flesh and blood to hell?

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
1 Timothy 5:8

This may not be talking about your child's soul, but I think we can glean some good doctrine. If you are not providing the solid, godly teaching of the Word, without allowing outside voices and influences that steal the heart of your children, you are also worse than an infidel.

Your children, after your husband, are your main priority. Don't get them out of your hair so you can move on to the real ministry-they ARE your real ministry! Love those women by loving your children!

~B. Mosser

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