Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Not Our Responsibility


As times get tough, and tougher, I always hear ladies saying how they are worried about the bills getting paid.  They wonder how in the world it will get done if their husband loses his job or takes a cut in pay.  They look at the numbers and say "It doesn't add up!"  (I have been there too.)  Then they think they have to do something about it.

Summer Evening at Skagen, the Artist's Wife with a Dog on the Beach, 1892

Well, they are halfway right.  We do need to do something about it.  But it is not the solution I see many coming to.  The solution is not for the wives and mothers to leave the home and take up the man's job.  The solution is not to say, "Okay, honey.  I know it is hard to make money right now.  Let me go out and make some too."  No, as wives and mothers, we play the supporting role to our husbands.  We need to say, "Okay, honey.  I will be extra careful with expenditures.  Let's see what bills we can get rid of.  I will adjust our meals to ones that are more budget-friendly.  I'll be sure to stay home as much as possible so we aren't using gas unnecessarily."

Men need to work.  And when the women go to work for them, they get lazy.  They lose the drive to provide for their families because the wives are doing it.  Why would he have to work hard if his wife is bringing in an income outside the home?  Why, he can even add some more bills to the pile because she's taking up some slack!  A husband will most likely not see the seriousness of a financial situation if his wife traipses out to find a job.

As Christian women, we need to follow the commandments set forth by Almighty God, even when times get tough (1 Timothy 5:14).  We need to not fret and fear when our husbands have a hard time finding or keeping work.  We need to make sure he has clean clothes for work, good meals on the table, and a loving wife who is supportive of his God-given leadership.  We also need to remember that God will provide the means for us to fulfill our roles and for our husbands to fulfill theirs. 

We have become so accustomed to women getting jobs outside of the home that that is almost the immediate response to a husband losing work, or other financial hardship.  But this should not be so.  When this happens, it gives us more opportunity to be creative in the home with ways to save money...maybe make something that we once bought.  No it is not easy.  Good things seldom are!  But being in God's will is more important than money.  It has to be, or we have made money and financial security an idol.

Doing our husbands' job for them?  Not our responsibility.  Helping him do his job by supporting him as he does it?  Absolutely.

Press on, Ladies!

Linked to:

Raising Homemakers


  1. Mrs. Q,


    I really needed to hear this post, as I have been one of those "guilty wives" of asking my husband if he wants me to get a job to help with the bills. Of course, he tells me, "No, that is my job. Your job is to take care of the homestead. Let me worry about the bills." So, I follow his leadership, but it's not always easy.

    At any rate, great post Mrs. Q. Also, thank you for being bold enough to stand-up for biblical truths in regards to the roles of women. :)

    -L. Rose

  2. Wonderful, Lady Rose. I'm so glad it was helpful!

    Mrs. Q

  3. LOVE the way you have presented this controversial topic, and it all come down to trust, are we willing to trust God to be our provider !

  4. To add:

    I've always looked at what curse the Lord God gave to Adam. It's Adams curse to work for food even though the ground will not easily produce food for him. The Lord did not curse Eve with that kind of toil.

    Adam cannot borrow from Eve's curse. He can't deliver a baby, etc. BUT Eve *can* have all of her curses and still borrow from Adam's curse.

    As if the day weren't long enough for women!


  5. Mrs. Q,

    Bless you for reminding us stay at home moms of the biblical truths in an age where we are made to feel guilty for putting our families first. I love your blog and I look forward to each post!

    Much love, respect, and blessings!
    Mrs. H

  6. Amen Mrs.Q! I would like to link to this and maybe expound on it. But you did such a beautiful job. I don't know if i'll have time today. Thank you Emily. You put it beautifully. God bless you. :)

  7. Mrs. Stam~you are right--it comes down to trusting God!

    Clevsea--yes! Such great insight. Thank you for adding that.

    Mrs. H--thanks so much for your comment. I am glad to know that my blog is enjoyed by you.

    Mrs. A--that would be wonderful, thank you and God bless you as well :)

  8. Mrs. Q., thanks for standing up for what is right. Women need to realize there will ALWAYS be ups and downs in men's employment,in the general economy of the nation, and in the expenses and prosperity of the individual family. The skill needed most is not women taking jobs outside the home but in learning to adjust to these fluctuations.

    When women go to work, men do not have anything left to make them staand out as men in this world. In various places in the public where my husband has worked, he has seen the women come into professions that were formerly manned by men, and he has seen the problems it brings on. For one thing, it weakens marriages and it weakens the men when they have to work with women. Another thing is that the woman's income does not necessarily help if she cant be free during the day to shop, clean, prepare meals, etc. She will need to buy prepared things instead, and also dont forget the amount of money used on transportation to get back and forth to work.

    Even if these things were not obstacles, and if it was cheap to go to work, we shouldn't be thinking of it in terms of money, but in terms of duty and responsibility.

  9. Thank YOU for standing up for what is right, Lady Lydia. You have been such an encouragement to me so many times, like a light shining in the darkness. There are not many who will stand up for homemakers and the family these days, not even in the church.

    I couldn't agree more with what you have written here. When women go to work, the detriments are innumerable, for individual families as well as society in general. And there are really no benefits gained, just as you have pointed out!

  10. So enjoyed reading these wise words! : ) I've happened upon your blog and am so grateful to have done so!

    It's such an encouragement to read truth that is received from the very Word of God.

    Joyous Blessings,

  11. I appreciate your post and your stand for God's truth. I just have to ask your opinion. I was a stay at home for 20 yrs. in '09 my husband became unable to work and we found our family homeless and camping in the woods, during the snow storms of early '10. I took charge at that time and gathered some money and moved our family 'back home' for support and found a job-been there a year tomorrow, our church family agrees that Mom should be at home and dad should work and provide. I tell you all of that to ask if you think there is something different I should be doing. I don't like leaving home everyday and used to work hard to be a godly woman at home, but my children were doing without and I could see no other way to care for them. I would love to hear back from you, Lynn@godspost.com thanks so much for your time.

  12. Hello, I posted a blog entry that you requested on husbands being against headcovering over on my Peaceable Wisdom.

    Thank you and many blessings of Jesus for you!

  13. Oh how I wish every lady could see this truth!! I tell people all the time, that I may not make money, but I sure save my husband a lot of it! I respect my husband even more just because he works extra to keep me home! When things are done God's way, it is right, all the way around! I don't really fit in with any ladies because all they talk about is how rushed around they are and tired and aggravated wtih their kids. They are running the world's rat race. They just don't see the truth! Thank you for posting this!! It's good to read from another lady who believes like me.

  14. What a wonderful post, Mrs. Q. I truly appreciate the way you have discussed this serious subject.

    I wish you and your family a blessed weekend! :)

  15. Amen! I am so glad that I found your lovely blog via Lady Rose.

  16. I am glad it was helpful, ladies and thank you.

    ~Mrs. Q

  17. Wonderful advice and encouragement, Mrs Q!
    I appreciate your thoughts on this and I agree with you.
    I also believe we are to 'support' our husbands - but not usurp their God-given roles.
    God bless you, dear friend.

  18. Hi Mrs. Q.,

    As you know our blog posts/comments were down for a day and my comments to you (and yours to me) were perm. deleted regarding husbands & headcovering.

    Allow me to re-invite you over to my blog where you will find a very long and detailed 3 part answer to your question on husbands/covering.

    It's the May 12th entry.

    Thank you so much,

  19. Thank you, Clevsea. Yes, I know I lost several comments, and I wish I could remember what they all said, as I had some replies to make. I will head over to your blog, and I appreciate your reply!

  20. Dear Mrs. Q.

    I have been spending some time visiting your blog and am enjoying myself. I haven't been here lately, and wanted to say a quick hello!

    This is a great post, so true and well written!

    Keep up the good work!

    Mrs. White
    The Legacy of Home

  21. Thank you so much, Mrs. White! It is so nice to "see" you! I hope you are doing well. I do need to come and visit you :)

  22. Lynn~Your comment disappeared when Blogger had issues a couple of weeks ago but now I see that it is back! I will try to get a reply to you as quickly as possible.

    God bless,
    Mrs. Q


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