Sunday, January 30, 2011

Teaching Modesty to Girls

How do we teach modesty to our girls?  Surely we don't want them going around baring their midriffs and other private areas when they get older.  As they grow and mature we don't want them leaving bare those areas to entice teenage boys or even older men.  So how do we teach them?  Do we start screaming at them to put on some clothes when they begin following the modern fashions as a "teenager"?  Do we just sigh and shake our heads and say that's the day we live in?

The answer is no.  We start today.  While they are little, young little toddlers, we teach them.  Gently and kindly. 

Sweetheart, this is what modesty is...
We keep these parts of our bodies covered...
You want to look lovely, but not enticing.
You want to look like a sweet little girl.

When they get older we want them to look like sweet young ladies, not little enticers of men.

We can not think we can dress our young girls in "innocent little bikinis" now and then expect them to understand when they are older that they should cover up.  If we teach them now, it will be much easier for them to understand later.  They will know what is modest and what is not, if we will just talk to them about what modesty is. 

2Timothy 3:15  And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. 

You can teach them to keep their legs down in dresses (as much as possible~sometimes bloomers are helpful with very active girls).  You can buy them only modest clothing and get rid of the rest.  Gifts from friends and family are nice, but not if they compromise your daughter's integrity.

My daughters have a strong view of what modesty is.  I have taught them since they were walking about.  As we have had more girls it has impressed on me how much it is needed.  Our world is filled with immodest women, women who think their worth is attained by how much skin they show.  We have to be the ones to give them a clear picture of what modesty looks like.  We have to set the example ourselves.  We also have to teach them by talking to them and pointing out what is modest and what isn't.

Our daughters will often come up to me and show me a picture from a library book (or a piece of mail) with someone who is not modest.  They often have a better eye for it than I do!  I wonder if we have become somewhat blinded to immodesty because we see it so often?  But our daughters are good at it.  They point out the pictures, and if it is an immodest woman they hide it from their brother, and they come to show me.  If needed, that book gets put out of reach until we can return it to the library (we often order library books online without knowing what is in all the pages).  The girls help the little ones with their clothing and let them know if they are not dressed modestly.  They help them put on an extra shirt or whatever is needed.  They know that there are parts of their bodies that other people should not see, and they keep them covered.

It starts now, not when they're 15.

This post is linked to the Domestically Divine link up.

Training them up in the way they should go...


  1. Yes, thank you. We have a big battle to fight against the world's portrayal of women. How encouraging to read about your daughters :)

  2. I totally agree! Thanks for posting this!

  3. This is such an important virtue to cultivate! We must proclaim ourselves different from the world in our dress and deportment. I am so thankful you are teaching your daughters to respect their bodies by dressing and acting with modesty!

  4. These are my thoughts exactly. Thank you for posting this. I have 4 daughters and have taught them modesty. They will do like your girls in pointing out when they see something immodest. That helps me know they "get it."
    Your blog is a blessing!

  5. Absolutely spot on, Mrs Q !
    When I was a little girl I was taught about modesty by my mother and the nuns at school. Both home and classroom harmonised in teaching the value of being ladylike in all things.
    How things have changed!
    Today, I cringe when I see young girls betraying their dignity by their uncouth dress and behaviour. It is a real shame! Literally!
    When we go shopping together and my hubby sees a young lady dressed shabbily with colourful tattoos down her arm, he turns to me and quietly says "That is NOT a good look!"
    And he's no wowser by any means.
    But I agree - it's not good!
    I feel sorry for the girls. The culture we live in has cheated them of knowing true feminine beauty and gentleness in appearance and manner.
    God bless you and your lovely daughters..Trish

  6. Mrs. Q,

    I think many young mothers need to read these encouraging words.

    Daughters also need to learn modesty in regards to the types of toys (especially dolls) that they play with as well. While my husband and I were at Target the other day, we unfortunately ran into this hideous display of "dolls" that were "glowing" and looked as white and skinny as skeletons, and dressed like "girls." This is society's view of being "cute and cool," but I see NOTHING "cute and cool" about it. No one with any sense would allow their daughters to play with "dolls" that literally looked liked skeletons!

    I really appreciate how much you are willing to share the truth of the matters with us women. Keep up the good work, and don't stop! :)

    -Lady Rose

  7. thanks for this post! im just now going "skirts only" as a 36 year old mother of two girls, aged 11 and almost 2. im trying to teach my 11 year old, late, about being modest and dressing femininely. she has never been "immodest", so to speak, but wears pants and im having a hard time getting her to change. wish i had started this for myself years ago but am just now learning about it and trying to please God. pray for my family, please. thank you!

  8. Great post! And you know it also goes for boys as well. It's interesting that my son will point out immodest women and ask where their clothes are and or other comments. :o)

  9. I'm sharing this post over at my blog www.lessonsfromivy it's so very true.

  10. What a wonderful post. My daughter is only 4 but I am trying to teach her to be a modest as possible. I am just amazed at how parents allow their young daughter to walk around with short shorts, mid-drifts, etc. I just shake my head. Good to know that there are other moms out there that worry about this because sometimes I feel like I am the only one. Great post, thanks for sharing.

    BTW: found via lessons from ivy and now following. Would love for you to follow back :-)

    Have a blessed weekend

  11. I am glad this was helpful to you all. You are a blessing to me. It is good to know other families are teaching their children important things like this too.

    Mrs. Q

  12. I agree wholeheartedly. Teach them now before it's too late.

    Thank you for sharing. You're such a blessing.

  13. Shelly~yes, it is so hard for husbands in the culture we live in! I agree we should help them in any way possible.

    Blessings to you, Jasmine.

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