Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Lie that Feminism Built

We are living with the end result of feminism.  Feminism has taught us that it is not enough for a woman to be home, helping her husband by keeping his home, by cleaning his clothes, cooking his meals, by taking care of his children.  Feminism has taught us that this is meaningless work, and a woman must go out and earn a paycheck.  A woman's worth is now thought to be wrapped up in her ability to bring in money.  The jobs of cooking and cleaning can be done by any person with half a brain, they say.

Tender Loving Care
Tender Loving Care

Feminism has made it so that our daughters, when asked "what" they want to be when they grow up and give the answer that they want to be a wife, mommy, and keeper at home, are told that that is not good enough.  They must do more.  The world needs saving, and they need to do it!  No matter that their own children would be left to themselves or in another's care...they must go out into the world to be important, they are told.  Feminism has taught us that children do not need their mommies, and their mommies have bigger and better obligations to attend to.  Feminism has made homemakers a black mark on the world.  The home a prison, instead of a refuge of love and joy.

The homemaker should not be made to feel guilty for being in her own home, day in and day out, loving and caring for it, and for those who occupy it.  Rows and rows of houses now stand unoccupied, because mothers have left the homes and gone out to "better things".  Children come home to the empty houses, where no mother abides, but instead rushes home late from work and attempts to throw together a meal to feed a family that is hungry for more than food.

Mother and Child Reading
Mother and Child Reading

This is the legacy of feminism.  This is the empty life.  This is what our daughters are told to strive for.  It is in our churches--it is not just the world.  The Church at large has accepted The Lie; the lie that feminism built.  Husbands have also accepted this lie and succumb to the pressure to have a working wife.  They are told that they could only have better things if their wives weren't so lazy and went out and helped "bring home the bacon".  These dual-income houses are leaving lives empty, as families turn to materialism for comfort instead of each other's company.

Mothers are told they must "do something for Christ" by going out into the working world.  After all, they are told, doctors and teachers are needed, and they are the ones to do it.  It does not matter that the majority of men are having trouble finding work; women should be out "contributing" too.

On The Terrace
On The Terrace

I ask you, what more contribution can a woman make than to raise up God-fearing children who love His ways?

There is no greater contribution.  And God has not given the job to anyone else.  Father--provider, mother--nuturer and comforter.  This is how God has established it from the beginning.  The man was told he would work the ground, not the woman (Genesis 3:17-19).  The feminists have "liberated" us all by trying to shove the responsibility of Man on our shoulders.  And in many respects, they have succeeded.

It is time for Christians everywhere to return to God's perfect order of male and female.  We do not have equal roles.  We have separate, and distinct roles.  For this I am thankful!

Friends, do not believe the feminist lie that the homemaker's job is not important.  Go about your home with a thankful heart that God has chosen you, a wife and mother, to take on this sacred task.  You are training up future generations with your love and your care.  The effects will last from time to come.

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This article was published in issue #135 of The Christian Home Magazine


Raechel said...

Simply wonderful! Beautifully said!

Mrs. H said...


Lydia said...

Mrs. Q., this is so brilliant. I'll have link to it in a post and make sure more people get to read it. I was listening to an old record today, the speaker being Art Linkletter, on the value of a woman at home. It was a homemaking series. He said that women's work at home is very valuable and that she should feel proud to be a homemaker. You do not hear that coming from men, these days. Even the men are fooled by feminist lies.

Blessed Homemaking said...

Thank you Raechel, Mrs. H, Lydia.

LadyLydia, that record sounds wonderful. I wish I could listen to it. Yes, sadly, many men have been fooled too. There are some who have not, though, thankfully.

Jessica Kramasz said...

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and on bedrest with a 16 month old to care for. Recently one of my Facebook friends asked if the ladies from church were helping. Sadly, they can't since most of them work full time. I should mention that it is a VERY small church so there is only about 5 women anyway - and most of them are older - but it makes me wonder what happened to being a Titus 2 woman?
We were still at our old church when I was on bedrest with my 16 month old, and we had more help from the ladies than we needed.

Blessed Homemaking said...

Yes, Jessica, it is also sad how the older women think that once the kids are grown their job is done and there is nothing left at home. Well, they still have a husband to take care of and a home, and then yes, there is helping out younger women like you!

Anonymous said...

Applause, but I'd revise your statement about "the majority of men" because that's inaccurate mathematically.
Katie G

Anonymous said...

I love this. Sadly, men are just as greedy as men for the material things that a working woman provide. I know many a woman wanting to be at home but the husband insists she get out there and bring home more bacon. As women, we often tear each other up over this but in fact most women are working because the husband insist. Men aren't interested in being men anymore it really is that simple.

Anonymous said...

Very well written! Thank you for this post! :)

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Q.,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this truth!! Sisters, brick by brick, family by family, let us live out God's truth for we women and in so doing, not only uphold, uplift and encourage our families, but glorify God also - and perhaps help heal our broken (virtually non-existant) communities in our churches and neighbourhoods. One boon, praise be to God, is the fact that those peddling the feminist lie are demographicallly weaker than those who follow god's truth. Even a demographic advantage of just one child above the surrounding status quo will, in the space of a half century, increase a group's size exponentially. Additionally, such exponential growth more than covers for any 'falling away' that might take place.

Furthermore, for those of us without children of our own, (either having never had them or those that are grown), we have the sacred opportunity of being part of the lives of the next generation within God's church and our extended families; we also have the opportunity to do and be for those who need a very real extra pair of hands in their home, to cook a meal, come and clean for them for a day, watch their littles so they can have some much needed rest etc. The Anglosphere and Northern Europe has forgotten this. In much of the Church of the South and East, it is still alive and well. Let us be open to learn from our Sisters there and one by one, brick by brick, make ourselves available to be the Living Stones in God's Kingdom.

This will have the added advantage of strengthening Church community and rebuilding a long-forgotten means of community support once available to those families whose husbands suffered disability, disease or death so as not to find themselves destitute. Along these lines also, judicious investment of savings etc from the earliest years of marriage to help in hard times cannot be overstated enough. In my own household this is practiced; my husband (now retired) was never a top level earner either, but a set of intellegently made decisions in his early working years have paid off. In places like the US where there is no healthcover, churches etc might like to adopt a similar system to that employed by the Amish and Menonite communities to cover their number who fall ill/acquire a disability. There are many God-honouring ways we can be prudent, like the good steward, in our families, and perhaps even open up our homes for first generation Christians etc who long to follow Biblical teaching but need a safe space and Godly guidance to do so. So many possibilities!!

What of nurses, educators and other specialties I hear some ask? For many years, a vocation to a community of women religious in nursing, caring and educating orders filled a vital role and can be traced back to the earliest Church in the East, sadly, the brutal rise of 60's feminism has slashed these orders but Praise be to God, the younger women are answering the call.

Linda said...

I loved this, thank-you Mrs.Q. I still find plenty to do at home even though my youngest is 18.I still have my husband, daughter ,home, animals and extended family, I try to help where ever needed.


Blessed Homemaking said...

It is true that many husbands are pressuring their wives to work. Lady Lydia has some great posts about this.

Also true that the older women are needed at home too. When they are out at jobs they cannot help their families or teach the younger women. If a sick person needs a hot meal, there is no one available if everyone's gone out to work.

Hello Linda--always nice to see you, and Mrs. A :)

Jennifer said...

This is something I struggle with. My husband and I planned for me to stay home with our children when we first got married, but then I got a "real job" and we didn't have children right away (for 10 years, actually) and we got used to having my income. It was nice, we had money to play and since it was just the 2 of us, we worked into a routine, I cooked dinner part of the time and we went out a lot (since we had my discretionary income), we had a small apartment and we worked together to keep it clean and I kept up with laundry. And it worked for us. Until we had our son. And then we decided it was best for my relationship with our son that I stay home with him, because I had postpartum depression and had trouble bonding with him in the beginning. on my husbands' salary has been tough. We have quite a bit of debt, and in the past, with my income, we would have paid it off in short order. But without my income, we are struggling. My son will start school this fall, and I will more than likely return to the workforce part time. I don't necessarily want to, but my husband feels we need my income, as well as he fears that I need "adult" interaction for my mental well-being. Like one of the ladies said above, we attend a small church and most (if not all) the women there work, so I don't have any friends or Titus 2 mentors who I can interact with during the day, and some days it does take its toll. Some times I really do feel like the "odd man out" because I am a stay-at-home mom.

Anonymous said...

It used to be that a man was a man, and would have been ashamed to have his wife out working to add to the income. This would have been viewed as a shortcoming on his part to provide for his family.

Mrs. O. in Florida said...

Thank you so much for this thoughtful post.
I have been a homemaker, wife and mother for 40 years. This lie was very vocal in the 70s when I was first married and it cause a lot of hurt and questioning even among Christian families. Eventually all my friends who were at home with their little ones went to work outside with the approval of the churches they were in. They were "contributing!
What a clever lie it is! Appealing to pride and greed, which are two of the seven deadly sins. But what terrible fruit they have produced! Look around at the broken families, marriages, evil upon evil.
I urge the younger women to give the truth to this lie and stay the course our Father wishes for we that have been created female with all its beauty. And may God bless you all richly.

Anonymous said...

A very wonderful article, thanks for writing it.

BrandyLynn said...

Thank you for this wonderful post Mrs. Q. I don't even know how I came about this blog (it just "happened" to be up in my tabs list... I'm sure I pulled it from somewhere though!) I have looked around and have subscribed to updates. (I don't do that very often with blogs... in fact, it needs to be a very ENCOURAGING/EDIFYING/UPLIFTING blog for that to happen, which yours appears to be!)

Your statement, "Children come home to the empty houses, where no mother abides, but instead rushes home late from work and attempts to throw together a meal to feed a family that is hungry for more than food." really struck a chord with me. My mother was/is a "career" woman (because my father wants her to be), and my siblings and I came home to an empty house every day after school, and were often home alone on weekends as well. There was always a longing in me for more, and it wasn't until I was in high school that I could articulate what that missing "need" was. All I wanted was for Mom to be home.

I used to attend a church where there were only a very few ladies who stayed home with their families. It was a church of about a 60 family membership. We began attending a new very small (8 families) church where the pastor unashamedly preaches the Bible and encourages women to be "keepers at home". I cannot say how much of a blessing it is to have that backing and affirmation where it is not found elsewhere. Where once I felt abandonment of other women (older and younger alike) for staying home to be a wife to my husband and Mama to my 6 young children, I now have that confidence and support. My heart aches for others who feel as I once did.

I appreciate your encouraging post, and your courage to stand for Sola scriptura.


Lisa said...

Excellent post, Mrs. Q!

Ginger said...

I enjoyed this post very much! I shared a link on my blog that links to this post!

Anonymous said...

Modern feminists of the 20th century totally corrupted the message of the original advocates of women's rights, such as the British writer Mary Wollstonecraft who published a Vindication of the Rights of Woman in 1792. She clearly states that 'Let it not be concluded that I wish to invert the order of things.' but merely that men and women are equal in the eyes of God. She argued that women should be well educated in order to make better wives and mothers and thus make a contribution to the nation. She believed children should be educated ' to insipire a love of home and domestic pleasures'.

In her book 'Thoughts on the Education of Daughters' she shows that her aim is to educate women to be useful wives and mothers because, she argues that it is through these roles that they can most effectively contribute to society.

Blessings! said...

Thank you for this post, it's got me thinking but the right words aren't coming to share. Thanks again. Sincerely, Mommy of two little blessings & so much more!

Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs Q,
Can I just say how much I enjoy reading your blog. I may not be a typical reader, I am single and childless. I have followed a career path and I would say to your readers to encourage young women to work with their mothers gain skills to keep a home and marry early so that you can grow together. I did as I was encouraged to do, I went to college, majored in nursing because I was encouraged even in Church that this was accepable. I focused on my career and climbing the ladder. I have little time to keep my home, if I leave a breakfast bowl in the sink, it awaits me 10 hours later when I get home! God is so Good, but we face the consequences of our decisions.
Please keep encouraging young women to love God and marry well.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post! So very true. Thank you. Linda

Sarah @ In Pleasant Places said...

I was thinking about this very thing this morning and you phrased it better than I ever could! Thank you for your blog, I've just found it. Thank you for your courage where some of us are weaker!


Petra said...

Thank you for putting my thoughts out there :-)

Cassidy said...

This is the most well written post about this subject that I have read to date. I agree with you whole heartedly as does my husband. We have sacrificed so many things, I need not even mention them as you probably know all too well, for me to be home with the children. We even have dealt with strongly, boldly opposing family members(many) as we have chosen to go God's way. I think, 12+ years later they are getting the idea but have still not completely let it go. (some of them) This was a blessing to read. Smiles, Cass

Lucas said...

Dear friends,

I would like your permission to translate this text into my own lingo (portuguese).

MY blog:


Blessed Homemaking said...

Yes you may, Lucas. Just as long as you link back here to my post, please.

Lucas said...

Will do.

God bless.

Blessed Homemaking said...

Thank you.

You too.

tealady said...

Beautifully written. One thing I'd like to add is the cost of a mother working outside the home. Once you add cost of daycare,extra car and cost to run and up keep of it, cost of extra wardrobe so she can work, the extra cost of fast food or prepared food the list could go on and on. Once all is added up I'm sure some would find it a loss to work outside the home.

Blessed Homemaking said...

Very good points, tealady. A housewife saves all sorts of money just by being there and keeping costs down. I think someone has added this up before and actually found that it costs money for wives to be out working.
If only more people would realize this and value women at home.

Unknown said...

Beautiful read

Blessed Homemaking said...

Thank you